Feels Like Home
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: Haunted after Sirius' death, Remus decides to stay with the Weasleys for a while. When Charlie Weasley comes home to visit, a new journey begins.:: for Web


_Insane House Competition: CharlieRemus_

 _365 Prompts: lovers_

 _Happy Newt Year: Resolutions, Remus Lupin_

 _Showtime, "Requiem": grief_

 _Days of the Month, Festival of Sleep: Write about someone taking a sleeping potion._

 _Count Your Buttons: "One Foot"- Walk the Moon, claim, "I do.", picture frame_

 _Sticker Challenge, Hogwarts: Write about somewhere that feels like home_

 _For my darling Web. Enjoy, babe._

* * *

" _Cross my heart and hope to die_

 _I'm taking this one step at a time."_

* * *

I.

Remus still feels like an intruder at the Burrow. It doesn't matter how many times Molly tells him that he's family, he still feels like he doesn't belong. Maybe he should find the strength to leave, but the fight has gone out of him. His only other option is home, and it still doesn't feel right after losing Sirius.

He retrieves the crystal vial from the drawer and pulls off the top. He's never cared much for sleeping potions, but the elixir for dreamless sleep has become his only salvation over the past few months. At least he can sleep through the night now. There are no more nightmares, no more feelings of helplessness as he watches Sirius fall beyond the veil.

With a heavy sigh, Remus swirls the contents of the vial before quickly downing it. He collapses on the bed, sinking into the pillows.

One day, he'll be able to move on. The pain of losing Sirius won't be so fresh, and he'll be able to make it through the day without breaking down. For now, his grief is still too real, too raw, and he needs to find a way to carry on.

…

"How did you sleep?" Molly asks when he joins her and Arthur for breakfast.

Remus wants to lie, but it would feel like lying to his own mother. He offers her a shrug. "Not well," he admits. "Better than some nights, at least."

She nods before adding an extra egg to his plate. "You're getting so thin, dear," she says.

His mother once fussed over him like that. Remus has almost forgotten what it feels like to have someone fret. "I'll be fine," he assures her, his voice soft and shaking. He offers her his best attempt at a smile, but even he can tell how forced it must look. "Don't worry about me, Molly. I'll be out of your hair soon enough."

This seems to be the wrong thing to say. Molly's bright smile falters as she sits beside her husband. "We don't mind having you around, Remus. After losing Sirius..."

"You need someone," Arthur adds quickly before the silence can grow too awkward. "And you're always welcome here; you're family."

Remus feels the tears prick his eyes. Once, he and Sirius had talked about starting a family. Now, being around people who care for him almost feels suffocating. He opens his mouth to reply, but the words seem to stick to his throat. Instead, he turns his attention to his toast, nibbling it in silence.

"Breakfast is delicious, Molly," he mutters.

…

He's been here for over a month, but the room still looks very much like he found it. The only difference is the framed photograph on the bedside table.

Remus brushes a finger over the bronze frame, his heart breaking. He and Sirius look so happy together, captured forever within the glass, smiling and dancing at James and Lily's wedding.

He can't remember what it feels like to smile now. His lips have been frozen in a permanent frown since that fateful battle at the Ministry. Sirius would tease him for it; he'd fuss and tell Remus that frowning causes wrinkles.

Remus lays back in the bed, holding the frame close. It's a poor substitute for a lover, but it's all he has.

II.

"Mum said you'd be in here."

Remus offers Charlie an apologetic smile. He hadn't expected the second oldest Weasley to come home for a visit. Molly had insisted that Charlie usually only visits on holidays, but even that is rare because of his job.

"I can change rooms," Remus assures him. He gestures around, indicating that he hasn't even unpacked his clothes and few belongings.

Charlie shakes his head, a small smirk on his lips as he plops down on the mattress next to Remus. "Nah. Truth be told, I always wanted Bill's room," he laughs. "He has a secret compartment in his closet."

Remus nods but doesn't respond; he doesn't really know what to say. Between teaching and the Order, he's had time to get to know the other six, but Charlie Weasley is a mystery. He's heard stories, but they are not enough to help Remus here.

"I'm sorry about Sirius," Charlie says quietly, resting a hand on Remus' thigh.

Remus flinches at the name. He still can't hear it without wanting to break down. The pain is still too raw, too fresh. He knows that one day he will be able to carry on without this pain, but today is not the day.

"If you need anything, I'm here," the younger man adds before climbing to his feet. "I'd better go. I'd like to unpack before Mum drags me off for a haircut. She claims I need one."

"Your hair looks fine."

Sirius would wear his hair long and shaggy, and Remus has developed a soft spot for it. He would always get personally offended whenever Lily would suggest Sirius trim it.

Charlie offers him another radiant grin. It's such a familiar quirk of the lips that Remus feels his heart breaking all over again. "Yeah. I think so too," he agrees before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

"He's not Sirius," Remus murmurs, shaking his head. "Stop it."

…

Remus feels ready. He looks at the vial, praying for strength before tucking it away, untouched. It's been long enough. He should be able to sleep tonight without it.

…

He wakes up with Sirius name still on his tongue. His heart races painfully, and cold sweat dots his forehead.

The door opens, and he's ready to offer Molly an apology, but it isn't Molly in the doorway. "Are you okay?" Charlie asks, closing the door behind him before hurrying to the bed. "You were screaming."

Remus opens his mouth to answer, but only a choked sob comes out. When he tries and fails again, Charlie pulls him into a hug. "It's okay, Remus. I'm here."

Remus clings to him desperately. It's been so long since he's been held, and he finds himself melting into the touch.

He isn't Sirius. Remus reminds himself this over and over again, but it doesn't matter. Maybe he barely knows Charlie, but his arms feel like home.

They sink back into the mattress. Remus expects him to leave after a few moments, but Charlie doesn't budge.

"Everything will be okay," Charlie whispers.

"You don't have to stay," Remus tells him.

"I do. You need someone."

III.

During Charlie's visit, it becomes a routine for them. Every night, the nightmares take hold, and Remus feels himself drowning. Charlie is always there, strong and warm, whispering to Remus that everything will be okay.

Remus knows it can't continue. Charlie will be back in Romania before the week is out, and Remus can't stay at the Burrow forever.

But even though their days are numbered, Remus savors each and every one.

…

"You can come visit, you know," Charlie tells him as he packs his bags. "I wouldn't mind. I mean, I'm going to miss you like mad."

"You are?"

A dusty pink stains Charlie's cheeks. He scrubs his hand over the back of his neck, offering Remus a nervous smile. "Maybe it's too soon, but I… Well, I sort of fancy you," he admits.

It takes several moments for his words to sink in. Remus stares at his hands in confusion, trying to process everything.

Charlie fancies him. Remus has come to enjoy the younger man's company. Maybe he isn't Sirius, and he can never replace the man Remus has loved for so long. But could it be a start? Could Remus really allow himself to try again?

He's spent so long telling himself that everything will fall into place one day, that he has to take it one step at a time. This is just another step along his path to healing.

"I always wanted to see Romania," Remus says at last. "Seeing you again would just be a bonus."

Charlie leans in and presses a quick, chaste kiss to Remus' lips. When he pulls away, that familiar grin is in place, and Remus feels himself melting.

He's been so afraid that he'll never be found. Now, he thinks that maybe he's on the right track. Maybe there is a future for him after all, and he can't wait to see what life has in store for him and Charlie.


End file.
